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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258914">Drowning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogy_s1mp/pseuds/gogy_s1mp'>gogy_s1mp</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>quackity and karl - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:56:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,745</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogy_s1mp/pseuds/gogy_s1mp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a fanfic about Karl and Sapnap as Sapnap starts falling for karl, karl starts falling the other direction, towards Quackity.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up to my cat, Storm purring laying on my chest. She was always the energetic one, she woke me up in the mornings and when I felt lonely, I would just play with Storm. I gently pick her up and hold her close to my chest as I walk over to my bathroom and analyze my thoughts. I had the same recurring dream that I have every Sunday night. I like to think of it as a wake up call to mondays. It’s me in a glass box filled with water pounding, yelling as I slowly drown, I yell to someone standing outside of the box with the same build as Karl. I’m not sure if he is the one in the dream because I never see his face, all I see is him running away from me to another glass container.</p><p>As I stare in the mirror, I notice that I’m sweating this time. My grandparents died at sea because they were stranded, gave up and drowned. Is this some stage of grief? Is this going to end? Is the man running away karl? And what does he want more than me in the other glass container? “Okay calm down Nick” I tell myself as I quickly get music on to distract myself. “How to save a life” The Fray on repeat. I get in the shower and look over the words, “where did I go wrong, I lost a friend” If the boy in the dream is karl, then what did I lose him to, and where did I go wrong?</p><p>I’m now all clean and dry out of the shower and I head to a local coffee shop to study for college. As I drive I put on “Your new Boyfriend” By Wilbur to lighten up my mood. I always wanted to become better friends with Wilbur, but wasn't as confident as dream was. I never feel confident about anything, my grades are A’s and B’s not outstanding, I am not the best at minecraft but im on the higher half, I’m don't feel like the hottest of guys, I don't shine, the only interesting thing about me is my friends, dream is crazy good at minecraft, and karl is a part of mr. beasts gang. </p><p>Once I’m home from my coffee and study trip I hop onto discord to check if anyone is online, sure enough I find Bad and Skeppy online. They are safe people, Bad always lightens the mood and him and skeepy’s bickering is even more funny live. The noise that notifies them I joined the call, almost scares me as Bad gives me a greeting</p><p>“Hello muffin”</p><p>“We are playing bedwars, i'll invite you to the party” Skeppy stated</p><p>“Okay, solos or 3v3v3v3?</p><p>“Solos”</p><p>“Oh and Bad is streaming so don’t swear”</p><p>“Okay Okay, are you going to start the round?”</p><p>“Oh yeah”</p><p>We played for an hour until Bad and Skeppy decided to join the SMP and I left because I wasn't scripted into that day and didn't feel like wasting my food in minecraft aimlessly running around. </p><p>It's now noon and I just poured a bowl of Cheerios and milk for my lunch because I didn't feel like making any food because of that stupid dream. I can't stop thinking about it, I went to a counselor and they didn't help at all. Nothing stopped me from thinking about it, not bad, not bedwars, not coffee, not studying so what do I do in the situation? I call dream, he has dealt with me practically crying over these dreams ever since I’ve started having them. </p><p>“Did you have that dream again”</p><p>“Yeah, I uh I can’t stop thinking about it”</p><p>“Figures, was there anything different about the dream this time?”</p><p>“Look I don't want to think into it, can you distract me?” </p><p>“Karl is online”</p><p>“Ha ha very funny”</p><p>“No like he said he's texting you”</p><p>“I gotta go, thanks for the help”</p><p>Dream Is better than that therapist I hired, although that call was short, he has listened to me ball my eyes out and always just has the right words to help me get over it until the next week comes around. </p><p>Karl facetimes me, which is different than usual, so I quickly grab my comb to look impressive before I stop myself. Why do I want to impress karl, like it's not like he cares if my hair is brushed out or not. I answer.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi Sapnap!”</p><p>“Sup?”</p><p>“Oh yeah so dream told me about your dreams”</p><p>“Oh uh thats embarrassing”</p><p>“I don't mind, he said I could probably handle it better”</p><p>I was never vulnerable with Karl, I always made flirtatious jokes and made him laugh, I never thought we would be sitting in our beds on facetime spilling out our guts to each other.</p><p>“Did he tell you what it was about?”</p><p>“Yeah, he told me about your grandparents, I’m so sorry about them. If it makes you feel any better I had dreams where I was trapped in minecraft, kind of the same thing as being trapped, drowning.”</p><p>“Yeah well minecraft isn't drowning”</p><p>“I know but I wanted to tell you that those dreams stopped after I stopped playing pocket edition, you're holding onto something that you need to let go.”</p><p>“Okay, well what do you think it would be?”</p><p>I never liked repeating the dream but around karl, he made it so simple and so easy to open up as if he just liked helping me and would rather help me through his then go talk to george, something dream does. I made up my mind, the boy in the dream was karl, if it wasn't before it is now. It's not like i'm about to stop talking to karl, I’d rather have these dreams, at least it gives me an excuse to talk to him.</p><p>“Did dream tell you about someone walking away from me towards something in another box”</p><p>“Yeah, that's one of the main points of the dream silly”</p><p>“I think it is you”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“The one who is walking away, the main point of the dream. I mean i'm not sure, I can't really see your face but the guy has the same build as you, maybe if i imagine its you then it will be easier”</p><p>“Yeah maybe, but what am I walking towards?”</p><p>“I dont know i'm usually more focused not not drowning”</p><p>“Okay okay so just don't focus on me, focus on the other box”</p><p>I can't just not focus on him, he always lights up the room he enters, even when my lungs give in. I'm completely focused.</p><p>“How could I not focus on you?’ I joked but I think it sounded too genuine</p><p>“Oh uh well I learned a hack on tiktok that if you just think of me like playing crack the egg on a trampoline and I’m the egg then you'll be completely revolted”</p><p>“Okay okay i'll try that loser”</p><p>“Anyways maybe on Mondays I could call you when you wake up, what time is your alarm?”</p><p>“8:30”</p><p>“Okay we will have a complete meeting, we can talk as long as you want, Mondays aren't very packed for me.”</p><p>“Sounds good, so uh do you think you could call me Sunday nights, I get really stressed out and most of the time am in need of a pep talk”</p><p>“For sure”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll be on the server tomorrow”</p><p>“What time?”</p><p>“You’re such a dork”</p><p>“Just tell me”</p><p>“Around 3”</p><p>“I’ll be there”</p><p>“Alright see you then”</p><p>“Bye sapnap!”</p><p>“Bye Karl”</p><p>I love it when he says sapnap like that, it's such a charming username when he says it, like instead of saying sap-nap, he emphasizes the p’s like saPnaP. If I ever heard anyone else say sapnap like that I would be so pissed, it's obviously Karls thing and lately I think I need a little bit of Karl things in my life.</p><p>I don't know why but I think I enjoy my nightmares now, like they suck but a couple extra minutes with Karl makes it worth it. I take one of my gummies that help me sleep that my mom got me for my dreams, but I was tossing and turning wondering if Karl enjoyed being vulnerable around me, or felt forced by dream to check up on me, I don't want to be a chore that Karl has to get over with.</p><p>The next Morning I texted Dream asking him what exactly what he sent Karl. He said that he told Karl that I was having nightmares and Karl seemed eager to help, he asked me all the details about the dream and when dream was finally done explaining it to Karl, he still asked for more information. I just realized I was petting Storm out of instinct, I guess I was nervous about Dream’s response but storm seemed to be chilling. Another thing I realized was that I was biting my lip. What the hell, why am I biting my lip because karl facetimed me for like thirty minutes last night. I can’t wait until 3 pm today, I get to be in the script AND Karl will be there, not for the script but for me. </p><p>I studied the whole day until three pm approached, as I joined I checked the player list:<br/>
WilburSoot<br/>
TommyInnit<br/>
Tubbo_<br/>
Dream<br/>
Sapnap<br/>
KarlJacobs<br/>
Quackity<br/>
What is quackity doing here? Why is he here right now? He isn't scripted with me today. Then I realize Quackity just joined, he could be here to just find some netherite, no big deal. My little temper tantrum was distracting me from the chat, karl was saying hi and wilbur was asking me to join the vc to start with the bit. </p><p>As I join I see that Karl and Quackity are on vc6 so I decide to join for a quick second to get a glimpse of karls voice. He was with Quackity when he was supposed to be here with me, laughing at me at my bad acting skills, but instead he was laughing at Quackity’s jokes, with Quackity without me. I just now realize that people can see who is in what vc and wilbur is probably very confused. I finally join the vc I was supposed to be in this whole time and Tubbo Tommy and Wilbur welcome me. I'm not with my friends, like yeah I know them but i’d much rather be on a call with Karl. My neck gets damp wondering what Karl is talking about, I bit my finger nails and leave just to get Storm. As storm wanders around my feet I pick her up and pet her to calm down. Why am I having a panic attack over karl, it's not like he cant have any other friends. But I’ve seen the tiktoks saying that quackity is the funniest member on the smp and that he makes everyone happy, I wish I could say the same about myself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Envy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sapnap grows envious of many others that are closer with Karl than him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karl still is on the vc with Quackity, he didn’t even make an effort to speak to me. I looked forward to right now all day and he doesn’t even show, yeah he said he was on the call, just not with me. I join back on the vc with storm in my hands as Tubbo welcomes me, right now what is happening in the script is dream is manipulating tommy and, tommy is just now realizing it, apparently I have to turn my back on dream when he needs me. That's ironic, I know I’m being dramatic about this but I don’t care. Dream joins the call while I start streaming, he is just minding his business when my character confronts him about what he did. He tries to explain that he did it to keep his eyes on Tommy, my character Isn't having it as I storm off and angrily end the stream. Once I’m done with that I have time to go on the call with Karl, him and Quackity were on the call together the whole hour I was streaming. They must really enjoy each other. I joined.</p><p>“OOO Karl I see you” Quackity laughed</p><p>Karl lets out his famous laugh that everyone loves, especially me, whenever I make Karl laugh I just can't help but at least smile, if i'm not laughing along with him. </p><p>“KARLLLL”</p><p>“Can we just karaoke please, I don't want to keep dying”</p><p>“Okay okay, what song, no wait I have one”</p><p>He starts playing. I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, not the best joke, but Karl seems to think it is, he starts laughing so hard you can hear him getting out of breath and his face getting red, why is he talking like that. I can't stand him just laughing for no reason, it makes me feel like when I make him laugh, he's just faking it too. So I unmute myself.</p><p>“Hi Karl”</p><p>“SAPNAP YOU’RE HERE, HI”</p><p>“Hello Sapnap”</p><p>“So Quackity, can you leave for a quick sec”</p><p>“Anything for you Karl” Quackity jokes</p><p>“How have you been?” Karl sincerely asks</p><p>“I’ve been fine, I couldn't sleep last night but I got over myself and managed to”</p><p>“Well that’s good, baby steps”</p><p>“Yeah so um hows Quackity, he seems f-fun”</p><p>“Oh he's great, he likes the same music as me, he is so funny, like we already have like seven inside jokes and he always lightens up the mood.”</p><p>Yeah just the same way I feel about Karl, he feels about Quackity. I shouldn’t be affected, it's not like we ever said we were best friends, I was always best friends with Dream, he can have his, but for some reason I don’t want him to.Why do I care? Whenever I have a question that I can’t pinpoint the answer to, I call Dream.</p><p>“Thats cool, oh uh my mom is facetiming me, I’ll talk to you later”</p><p>“Bye Sapnap”</p><p>“Bye Karl”</p><p>Yeah okay time to call Dream. With every ring that Dream doesn’t pick up I get more anxious about what Dream will say to me about Karl. On the fifth ring he finally picks up.</p><p>“Hi-”</p><p>“Dream I need your help”</p><p>“Oh uh okay so what's wrong?”</p><p>“I can’t stop thinking about Karl, he's starting to get close with Quackity and I don’t like it.”</p><p>“Screw you”</p><p>“What the hell, dude chill”</p><p>“Stop mocking me, I know “karl” is just George and you are the Quackity, you know I have feelings for George and that's the same thing.”</p><p>“I'm not mocking you.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“100, just help me I don't know what to do, like I should be happy for Karl that he is making new friends.”</p><p>“Sapnap you know how I said I feel the same way about George?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I have feelings for George”</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“And that's the same thing you feel with Karl right?”</p><p>“Holy, um so that's not true, uh I don't feel that way with Karl”</p><p>“I think you do”</p><p>“You're wrong.”</p><p>“Am I?”</p><p>I ended the call, my best friend thinks I have feelings for Karl, sometimes I like to say he knows me better than I know myself, not in this case. Either I’m in serious denial or I am who I say I am. Dream is stubborn and is never going to let me live this one down. </p><p>It is only five pm but I cant keep thinking about this, I don’t want to face my feelings for Karl, not that I have any, I just don’t want to think about him right now. Okay my plan of not thinking about Karl isn’t working so I decide to watch a Mr Breast video to focus on Karl and give myself my honest thoughts on him. In the introduction and explanation of what they will be doing in the video, Karl is hugging Chris in the background. He looks warm and his head is leaning on Chris’s shoulder. I quickly close the tab at the sight. Why do I keep getting mad about the things that have nothing to do with me? I try to focus on why it is making me mad, that anger is in my stomach as I realize my hands are in stiff fists, at this point I dont think its anger, its envy. I’m jealous of Chris, he gets to feel Karls touch, he gets to smell his cologne, he gets to buy him things and spoil him. I want to do that, not Chris, not Quackity, me I want that with Karl. </p><p>It's been ten minutes since I ended the call with dream. He can’t be that busy so I call him again. This time he picks up on the first ring.</p><p>“Look who finally decided to join us”</p><p>“This isn’t funny, can anyone else hear you”</p><p>“Only patches”</p><p>His mood changed from joking at me to sincerely making sure I feel safe, he knows what I’m about to say</p><p>“I think you’re right”</p><p>“I’m always right”</p><p>“Stop”</p><p>“Okay, what exactly am I right about?”</p><p>“Karl”</p><p>“I see so what do you need me to do”</p><p>“I don’t know maybe talk me through it, give me a reality check or something”</p><p>“First of all, reality check. I’m not even with George so I’m not the best person to ask for advice, second of all, oh wait-uh, you’re not going to like this, uh Karl is streaming.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“Quackity is in his house”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“They met up.”</p><p>“I got to go”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am obsessed with writing these so the new chapters should come out daily, I highly encourage feedback so if you have any thoughts, nice or mean please comment them. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dropping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You'll see ;)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I watch Karl’s stream in shock as they innocently play fireboy and watergirl on his computer as chat tells them to facetime me. At least someone appreciates me. I continue watching as Quackity brings me up per request and Karl teases saying my real name. “Nick,” he says it laughing. My heart drops, he wasn’t supposed to say my name like it was funny, he is supposed to say my name like he loved it, and maybe even loved me. </p><p>“Oh yeah Sapnap didn't want to come”</p><p>That's not true </p><p>“Yeah he said he didn’t want to come “</p><p>They are lying. Are they kidding? Why did they say that? Because they want to be the good guys, they want to have a good time without me, I don’t blame them, I don’t want to be with myself right now either. Why did they have to say that, they could have just changed one word to make me not seem like a loser, they could have said I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, they didn’t even ask me to join, betrayal, anger, sadness, hurt. Its bad enough they met without me, especially with my realization of my feelings for Karl. It feels like nobody can see me, can hear me, acknowledge me, care for me. I can’t decide what to do, suck it up and watch the stream, call dream, text karl, or just cry. I don’t want to annoy anyone anymore so I need to choose between the first and last option, I decide to do both. I let go and just let myself cry as I watch the stream. Their facecam goes blurry as I realize, it's not the camera unfocusing, it's my tears blurring my sight. They are laughing and I get a call from Karl, I don’t think they realize I’m watching the stream. I try pulling myself together to answer my pounding phone. Each ring I don’t pick up sounds louder and louder as I wipe my tears. I answer.</p><p>“Hi Karl?”</p><p>“Hi Sapnap, we wanted to say hi because chat is begging for you”</p><p>“Your streaming?” I ask trying to sound clueless and I sniffle</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“Yeah no I’m fine, hi chat!”</p><p>“There he is chat” Quackity says</p><p>I completely forgot Quackity was there, I forgot that I was in front of 100k people, as I quickly mute to cry again</p><p>“Oh uh this isn’t a good time Karl, I’ll call you back later” I say trying to sound as unbothered as possible</p><p>“Okay I’ll see you later?”</p><p>“Yeah” I say as I quickly end the call and check Karls facial expressions, he looks completely unbothered. If Karl ended a call on me with clearly no reason like I just did to him, the smallest reaction I would have is looking slightly confused but he was completely okay with me leaving, every second I spend without Karl I feel more drained, but he seems almost emotionless as I leave. </p><p>Back to falling apart as Quackity teases Karl making him smile and get red. Sometimes when I’m on a call with Karl and he's streaming I pull up his stream to see his face, I never make him laugh that hard or get that red. </p><p>My shirt is drenched with tears as I close off the stream. I quickly tweet that I won’t be able to stream until further notice. I don’t need fans worrying about me while I’m trying to figure myself out. I still can’t quite understand why they didn’t invite me especially after they said that I didn’t want to come. I don’t think it even crossed Karl’s mind that he hurt me. While I close twitter I see that Sadnap is trending number 7 just because I sniffled once, it could have been allergies but it must have sounded too sad to be just allergies. Words don't comprehend what I’m feeling, I’m not completely upset, more hurt, I don’t know. Why doesn’t Karl care? So I analyze myself and check myself. In the mirror I see myself, brown hair, brown eyes, dull, not exciting and that's how I feel right now. I question my personality, I feel fake, the viewers don't like me for me, they like the person that dream brings out, they like the person that Karl brings out of me, I barely ever stream by myself because I don’t feel good alone, I don’t feel entertaining or fun, I don’t feel like I was who I say I am. I feel fake. I feel like the only entertaining thing about me is my friends. I need to stop thinking about this, I feel like I’m digging myself into a whole and the more I think about it, the deeper I get.</p><p>I can’t get over it, he just said what he needed to say to get through me, to forget about my feelings and just do whatever he wants, I get interrupted by my computer going off. It is a discord notification, it's Tommy. Why the hell would Tommy want the association with me right now? My curiousness gets the best of me as I join the call.</p><p>“Hey man”</p><p>“What is up Tommy?”</p><p>“Nothing much, uh how about you”</p><p>“Today was...eventful”</p><p>“Oh okay, well if you need to talk to me, I’ll be here like I saw your tweet and was wondering why you won’t be streaming, I’m sure Karl will miss you”</p><p>I’m not so sure</p><p>“Yeah uh I just am not in the best place right now, Tommy”</p><p>Why is this sixteen year old child checking up on me? I’m such a loser.</p><p>“Oh, I see. I need more netherite, do you want to help me, I’m not streaming”</p><p>“Sure” I really don’t need any real social interaction right now and Tommy will just be funny and crack jokes, he's a lot easier to talk to without feeling stressed. I brought all my beds and we both went netherite mining. We were on a call till 10pm when his mom told him it was bedtime. I couldn’t help but laugh at my new friend. He quickly told me that </p><p>“You didn’t hear that”</p><p>“Goodnight Tommy, don’t forget your blankie”</p><p>“Screw you”</p><p>I leave the call, thank god Tommy called me, or else I would be crying right now, he’s actually really nice when he’s not streaming, yeah he has a short temper but it's funny to hear him yell. I have a feeling me and Tommy will be good friends. And at that note I try editing my new video, to keep my new viewers engaged. It was just me Dream and George playing bedwars so it didn’t need too many cuts and edits, just me picking out the funny games and cutting out us in the lobby. I finished at 11pm (one hour later) and I decide to head to bed. </p><p>While I’m laying, defenseless in my bed I wonder why Karl didn’t check up on me and it had to be Tommy, after all I told him I would call him back later but after I didn’t he didn’t care.</p><p>It’s the next morning now and I still want karl, I still need him. I don’t think the feeling is mutual. I don’t want to eat food, in fact I feel sick, not like I have the cold, more of my stomach hurting because of hyperventilation and crying from yesterday. It's Saturday today, meaning Karl will call me tomorrow and help me with my dreams. I need to talk to him now but I don't have a valid excuse. Instead of being a normal person, I go freaky crush mode on Karl and text him. </p><p>“How was your visit with Quackity” </p><p>“It was great, can I say something crazy”</p><p>“Depends” I joke</p><p>“Call I call you?”</p><p>“Sure”</p><p>Now I’m talking to Karl, and it wasn’t even my idea, this is progress. But what is he about to say that's so crazy that he doesn’t want me to have access to screenshots on it. </p><p>“What's so important”</p><p>We are finally alone</p><p>“Are you sure you want to know”</p><p>“Yes now tell me, I don’t care if you killed someone, we will figure it out”</p><p>“I didn’t kill someone”</p><p>“Just tell me”</p><p>I’m finally being vulnerable with him, he's starting to appreciate me, I might have a chance.</p><p>“I think I like Quackity”</p><p>“Cool? You wouldn't meet up with him and not like him”</p><p>“Not like that, I can’t stop thinking about him, I can’t keep going on like this sapnap, he's everywhere even when he's not with me, I can’t push him out of my mind even using alcohol.” </p><p>“You’re in love.” </p><p>“I think so”</p><p>I don’t have a chance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Handling it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sapnap gigures out what to do with the issuse on hand</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shit. Why is he in love with Quackity and what do I do? I can see why, he has more twitch viewers than me, he is funnier than me, he is more fun to talk to than me, overall he just seems like the new and improved version of me, like me but 10x better. I am so shocked that I feel numb and emotionless. I'm not crying, I'm just sitting here thinking about this and processing what Karl just admitted to me.</p><p>“Are you there Sapnap?</p><p>I'm still on a call with him. I just want to flee and get out of this, I can’t though, I need to be with my friend. It hurts to think of Karl as just a friend but under these circumstances, I don't think I have a chance to think of him as anything else. </p><p>“Oh yeah I’m here, just in shock I guess”</p><p>“That's okay, so what do I do about this whole Quackity thing?”</p><p>“I’m not sure. Are you sure you're in love with him?”</p><p>“I think so, but I also feel like I’m lying to you about it, I feel like I’m faking it but the feelings feel completely real.”</p><p>“You know, it's tough admitting to yourself that you love someone unless you’re completely crazy about them. I don’t see why you would be obsessed with him because you’ve known him for like a month.” Why am I helping him?</p><p>“I see, so how do I do this, do I tell him and deal with what he might say, do I just keep it to myself, do I try to get over him, what do I do?”</p><p>“Staying silent isn't working for me, either go for it or completely back down, you clearly like him.”</p><p>“Thank you Sapnap, I need to think about this a little, I really appreciate your help”</p><p>I need to think about this too “Okay, good luck”</p><p>“Bye”</p><p>He finally ended the call and I can’t get myself to think about it, I need to but I can’t seem to keep it in my mind without pushing it out by instinct. This feels like some weird stage of grief, like I lost all chances with Karl and that it would never be the same again. It sucks even more because just as soon as I was able to admit that I loved him, he decides to do the same thing, but with someone else. This sucks and I can’t call Dream about it, its not like George fell in love with a different friend that isn’t dream, George always picked Dream first and Dream wouldn’t know how it feels to be second place, let alone not first place. Dream is good at everything, he has like the most subscribers for the dream smp, he is funny, and George is just always known as a small little innocent guy who screams a lot, that is a good personality. With me it's just that guy with a copy skin, how nice. After this I felt worse about myself and better about not deciding to call Dream. But I need to talk to someone, I can’t stand keeping this bottled up anymore. The only person I know that would be actually nice about it and wouldn’t laugh at me is the person I’m scared of, Wilbur. Yeah no I’m not calling Wilbur, he's way too intimidating and scary, I’m not even close with him, I can’t just spill out of my feelings to someone I barely know. All the people I’m close with right now don’t seem like good options for this, I’m determined to call someone but who? Someone I’m not close with but someone super nice, I know who to call.</p><p>“Hello Sapnap” She says with confusion</p><p>“Hi Niki” </p><p>“Whats up?”</p><p>“I need your help, you seem like the only person I can talk to right now and I barely even talk to you. Promise you won’t laugh?” </p><p>“Sure, what do you need?” She says sounding completely genuine and sweet, thank god I know someone as nice as her or I would still be thinking about who to call right now.</p><p>“Don’t tell anyone I told you this, top secret”</p><p>“I won’t, promise.”</p><p>“I’m in love with Karl.”</p><p>“Whoa, uh cool so uh why did you tell me?”</p><p>“I already told Dream, but he's so perfect that he won’t understand what is going on now”</p><p> </p><p>“And what is that?” She asked and her voice completely comforted me.</p><p>“Karl is in love with Quackity”</p><p>“No way.”</p><p>“He told me because I’m “someone he can talk to” he clearly didn’t think I had feelings for him. Look I don’t know what to do, I feel trapped, I literally can’t do anything, he is in love.”</p><p>“I see, so what can you do right now to help?”</p><p>“Nothing I guess, I just don’t want to think about it because I know I have to try to get rid of my feelings for Karl if I don’t want to get hurt, and I just can't do that right now” </p><p>“Perfect, so you don’t want to think about it, that's all good. Want to play raft?” She said entirely sincerely, I thought she would be completely freaked out but I guess not, I’m glad she isn’t or else I would have another meltdown about scaring her. </p><p>“That would be great”</p><p>“Okay, I made a game, join me”</p><p>“Will do”</p><p>Me and niki played until the next day, we stayed up all night until we realized the sun started going up and we both agreed that we should get some sleep.</p><p>I woke up at four pm, meaning I got more than enough sleep (ten hours) and woke up to Dream freaking out that something happened to me, he was scared because I wouldn’t respond to anything. So I text Dream.</p><p>“Hi so I had a lot on my mind yesterday and stayed up all night thinking and playing video games with” I cut myself off and delete the “with” part “Sorry if I scared you, I’m fine.”</p><p>“Sounds like something a killer would say, what's your favorite pet that you don’t tell anyone but you and me both know”</p><p>“Storm”</p><p>“Okay I believe you, just get yourself together and text me at least next time you stay up all night”</p><p>“Okay, you are way to overprotective” </p><p>“Whatever, just go eat something”</p><p>“If it will make you feel better”</p><p>“Thank you” </p><p>I didn’t go to eat anything, the thought of eating made me want to throw up all of the nonexistent food in my stomach. I have to get over Karl eventually but I can’t figure out how, so I just look it up.</p><p>How to get over someone you are in love with</p><p>Google sent me to a website that pretty much people would post their own ways on how they do stuff and you could copy them, I reread the only five responses and I start to panic, none of these responses are helping and are making me feel relieved. As I silently turn off my computer I decide to just avoid him and we will grow apart, and so will the feelings, right? I block Karl on my phone to help take away the temptation to talk to him. Today is Sunday so I am expecting Karl to call me about my dreams, good thing the call will ever reach my end, it would drive me crazy. I am excited to experience this nightmare because I know what is in the other container that Karl is walking away from me towards, I can finally have closure and this might be the last time I allow myself to face Karl. I might never have this dream again. I won’t be drowning anymore, I will be free from that container and I won’t be trapped by my feelings for Karl, he will finally be at Quackity’s container and I will no longer be part of the dream, meaning I won’t have to keep dreaming about it. I feel almost happy that I will finally be free as I start crying, not happy tears. </p><p>My shirt clenches to my body because of how drenched it is, my tissue box is empty and I don’t mind my looks or how I feel physically, all that matters is the emotions inside of myself that was trapped inside of that container from my dream, I was drowning in them and I just let it happen, I just let myself fall, with every bit of air I had left from that dream I never tried to escape, I was just stunned to look at what was in front of me, Karl. This isn’t going to be as easy as I planned. I desperately look around my room as if there is going to be an answer to this situation. Why can’t Karl just reject me so I can get over him? I have an idea.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all the support, there are definitly some parts that are cheesy but bear with me. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Last Chapter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I unblock Karl, I need to get rid of all connections with him to get over him in general, but I need Karl to feel closure, I can’t let Karl suffer wondering what he did wrong for me to stop talking to him. His texts finally went through to my side and he looked scared that something happened to me.</p><p>“Hi Sapnap, could you call me back?”<br/>“Sapnap?”<br/>“Helllooooo”<br/>“Are you okay?”<br/>“You are making me nervous”<br/>“Sapnap please respond”<br/>“Dream isn’t replying either, what happened?”<br/>“I’m freaking out dude please talk to me”<br/>“Sapnap?”</p><p>Now he decides to care about me. </p><p>“Karl, I’m fine”</p><p>He's typing, shoot.</p><p>“Sapnap you can’t do that, you scared the living shit out of me”</p><p>I have never heard him swear, he must be pissed. </p><p>“I’m sorry, your texts didn’t go through until now”</p><p>“I’m still mad”</p><p>Before I could type a response, he calls me. Of course I answer.</p><p>“Hi-”</p><p>“NICK ARMSTRONG I THOUGHT YOU DIED” Why did he have to say my full name, my nerves flutter at the sound but I know this has to end. </p><p>“Look I’m sorry, I might have blocked you and your texts didn’t go through”</p><p>“YOU BLOCKED ME?” </p><p>“I have a reason, actually that's why I unblocked you, I have to talk to you” </p><p>“Okay?” His mood completely changed, he calmed.</p><p>It killed me to say this, this would drift us apart but I need to do this to get over him, I need him to run away from me, because I can’t keep myself away. <br/>“Karl, I don’t know how to say this, I need you to be freaked out and leave me, I can't keep holding onto you. Look, you know about your whole Quackity thing right?” </p><p>“Yeah, why do I need to leave you?”</p><p>“Karl, I have feelings for you”</p><p>“No you don’t”</p><p>“You need to leave, end the call, don’t talk to me, I can't keep doing this.”</p><p>“Sapnap, you have to let me talk to you” His words are sharp</p><p>“No”</p><p>I was about to end the call</p><p>“Look I knew” Karl blurted out “I never left you, I already knew”</p><p>Karl is killing me right now, my plan was simple and he is screwing it up, I even told him to leave, he's being stubborn.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Don’t hate me” </p><p>“That's the thing, I can't hate you, that's why I told you so that you would hate me”</p><p>“Dream told me, I asked because when I was telling you about Quackity, I was oddly intrigued with the person you have feelings for, you saying that saying silent isn’t working for you made me wonder what type of person would turn you down, I was certain you told Dream, and I was right.” </p><p>“I’m going to kill Dream”</p><p>“Here's the part that scared me, I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t revolted, I was drawn to you, I liked knowing that you felt that way” </p><p>“Well of course, I always liked knowing that the girls had a crush on me in high school, it's not just a crush, you need to be scared of it”</p><p> </p><p>“No”</p><p>“Karl, what about Quackity, if you are so inlove with him then go crush on him, you don’t have to make this complicated”</p><p>“It is complicated though, your feelings are valid”</p><p>“Stop being nice, you are being annoying, just end the call”</p><p>“I’m not doing that”</p><p>“Then what am I supposed to say? You already know and you won’t open up to me at all, I need input from you, you won’t leave, so you need to speak up.” </p><p>“I don’t know if I’m ready to leave Quackity”</p><p>“Add him”</p><p>“No”</p><p>“Fine. I will”</p><p>“Don’t” </p><p>“Then tell me what you feel about me, not Quackity, me, if you are going to keep talking about him then I might as well add him.” </p><p>“What do you want me to admit? That I’m in love with you? That I am creeped out by all this? That I hate this?”</p><p>“Tell me the truth”</p><p>“The truth is that when Dream told me about you, that I liked it, I wanted it, that I was lying to myself about Quackity”</p><p>“Lying to yourself about what exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>“I was lying to myself about who I was thinking about, I was thinking about you when I said all those things, I didn’t want to admit it and when someone helps you through a rough time, it makes them seem really appealing, that's why Quackity was my first substitute, it was easier to think of Quackity like that because I didn’t know him for that long and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if you didn’t feel the same way.” </p><p>“Now what?”</p><p>“Sapnap, I want this”</p><p>“Me too” I can’t think, my words come faster than my thoughts, my head is overwhelmed with thoughts so I go with my instinct, not my conscience. </p><p>“Can we try us out?”</p><p>“Of course, I can’t wait to tell Dream, he's been working on George for at least a year.” </p><p>“Deal”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you like this thank you all for reading the fanfics!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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